As much as I suggested not asking yourself that question I believe that in all cases it boils down to one simple thing: An imbalance in the relationship between you and your employer.

Think about it. When you were hired, you were given:

1> Objectives: Profits, sales, delivery of products, creation, shareholder value, customer facing milestones, etc.

2> Conditions in which to do the job: Office, infrastructure, authority, data base of clients, etc.

3> Tools to meet these objectives: Staff, software, peers, processes, policies, budgets, guidelines.

It does not matter what kind of job you have – you need these 3 elements to get any job done, assuming you had the right skills when you were hired.

Well …this all goes well for some time and then things start to change.

– Customers start choosing other products/services.

– Competition becomes fiercer.

– Unrealistic objectives that have consistently not been reached on a monthly /quarterly basis.

– The struggling economy had its effect on your employer’s cash flow. Cash flow is the lifeblood in the veins of a company. Cash flow problems if not managed, can kill a company overnight.

– The staff quit or became more demanding or indifferent, unmotivated or worse you could not lead them.

– You were not meeting your objectives or at least it appeared that you were not.

– Management change either at the head of the organization or your boss.

The combination of any one of these factors can put the company or your employer in “survival mode”. The first thing companies do in survival mode is cutting back: Budgets, staff, training, expansion, sales and marketing activities.

If the leader of your company did not plan or see this coming the ensuing effect is chaos followed by more cuts/changes.

This is where you come in – you were the result of these cuts. The imbalance.

There is no point og going over it in your mind since the decision to fire you was final and you need to move on. When everything was going well i.e. you performed and your employer performed; balance existed. When performance was affected this created an imbalance – nothing personal (really).

I am big believer that when you are in a Win-Win environment it can be a lot of fun. When things start to sour however this is what you must do:

1) Be a part of the solution, not the problem. Don’t wait to take that initiative – do it now. Find solutions to real problems.

2) Raise your profile by assuming more tasks and responsibilities.

3) Communicate to your staff that a “storm is coming and that we need to pull together”.

4) Keep an open mind and a positive attitude. Be flexible.

If you fail at any of these 4 initiatives you will simply be overseen by your employer. There is an expression that says: ” When the ship is sinking, the first thing to be thrown overboard is useless cargo”.

I also believe that at all times, you should treat the relationship with your employer  like a client /supplier contract.

Let me explain. You, the supplier offer services (skills, competence, actions and deliverables) and your client (employer) pays you for these services. You do your best to keep your customer happy and he pays you (salary, bonus, perks, car, laptop, etc) for a job well done.

The problems start when there is an imbalance which leads to one party “taking the other for granted”.

“Well if I show up for work and I keep my head down, the boss won’t notice it”.

The employer says ” OK we’re going to have to cut jobs. Instead of paying dismissal packages ( cash) we’ll just tell employees that they are on a list of redundant employees; we’ll give them 6-8 weeks’ notice and indicate to them that they would be wise to start looking for another job” (this is a real example by the way of what I heard lately as a new tactic by an employer).

If you treat your relationship like a client /supplier relationship at all times you will do your best to keep that relationship positive and… balanced. On the flip side when you feel that the relationship is deteriorating (worsening) and the client no longer appreciates your services … then it’s time to move on. This is not different than other client/supplier relationship you face daily: Choice of supermarkets when you buy food, your lawyer, accountant, your car, mobile phone service, and your bank and so on.

It may sound like I am taking the employer’s side – not true. I have done both; worked as an employee and supplier (consultant or CEO Coach). I manage the expectations of my client /supplier relationships a lot better now since I realize that every relationship has a beginning and an end!

With that in mind I strive to keep my customers (employer) happy. When he changes or changes the rules or the environment then I remember: “OK…I have to adapt or move on”.

Try looking at your relationship in this way starting tomorrow!

This will give you a better perspective on how you look at your employer and it will give you the extra level of power in your current relationship since now, YOU control where this goes.

Regardless of who you work for, how long it’s been and how much of a “good ride” it’s been for you, an imbalance will occur whether you like it or not.

Are you going to be ready when this happens?

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Worse is tomorrow someone will ask you who you are and what do you do? We live in a society where so much is “who we are” and “what we do for a living. It’s as if you’ve just lost your identity.

OK unless you were fired for something blatantly obvious such as having done something illegal, immoral or criminal, then I can’t help you.

If you are like most people that were fired for “uncertain” reasons, I can help.

First . I can recommend two readings:

The Peter Principle. This principle states that “in a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence”, meaning that employees tend to be promoted until they reach a position at which they cannot work competently. It was formulated by Dr. Laurence J. Peter and Raymond Hull in their 1969 humorous book, The Peter Principle,

Perhaps this is what happened, but you certainly will not accept this in the next few days/weeks or months.

The second book you must read is a classic. “What color is your parachute”, by Richard Nelson Bolles.

Paul…I just lost my job and you expect me to read? Answer: Yes.

I also expect you to:

1. Disconnect from work altogether for some time – at least 2-4 weeks.
2. Go out and have a few drinks ( perhaps many) with your spouse, partner or good friends.
3. Talk to your friends that you trust, explain what happened and GET IT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM.
4. Take time to reflect on YOU, your skills, your interests and your plan.
5. Take time to go do something for you: Cycle, walk, shop, travel, start a hobby, play Golf, get a manicure, pedicure and massage…do something you like.

As I said in my previous blog being fired is a life stage occurrence (Marketing term) where something impactful happens to you (i.e. new baby, divorce, marriage, caring for an aging parent). Getting fired is right up there with those other occurrences.

Therefore you cannot expect to get back on the phone and send your CV in a flurry of activity hoping that it will be ok. You may be lucky however I can tell you that I will be short-lived.

The most fundamental thing to do is to accept the situation – OK I know it’s hard; you’re upset and you want to hire 3 lawyers. I know. I can also tell you that that most employers have bigger lawyers. I have used lawyers – good ones and bad ones and the outcome is usually dismal or not really in your favor. Every situation is different and there is a great deal of satisfaction to get closure with a lawyer. However make sure you have money – this is not an option.

Getting over the DENIAL stage is fundamental. You need to accept that there was some form of inequality between what your employer expected and what you delivered – regardless if it’s your fault or not …it’s immaterial at this point. Dwelling on who to blame, how much your boss was difficult and why no one else stood up for you will not help. This is wasting perfectly good brain energy and besides there is nothing you can do about it.

Getting over the denial stage frees up your mind and enables you to focus as to who you are, what you are good at. Remember when emotions are involved it’s hard to think straight.

Reading The Peter principle is a good book to get your mind off things.

Reading What color is your parachute is a must read since it will help you in a variety of ways:

1. Identify your REAL skills. There is an exercise that takes about 4 hours to identify your skills. This is pure gold and don’t assume that you know your skills. In fact you may not even know what a skill really is.
2. It will prepare you for the worst case scenario: No work for 2,3,4,5 or 6 months. Again you will go in denial and say “well that’s crazy … I’ll find a job tomorrow”. Chances are that you will not so you need to plan that now.
3. The book will enable you to re-discover yourself. Perhaps you were in the wrong job or industry, working with toxic people, not really able to explore your potential or maybe you were there just for the money.
4. I tell my audiences to read this book not only when you are looking for a job but it’s a good read to develop yourself and to progress in your career.

Next steps:

1. Set up a plan. Now‘s the best time for you to re-calibrate your plan and decide what you want to do in the next 1,3 and 5 years.
2. Listen to your words: Attitude check. Your attitude now is critically important. No one will hire someone who is pissed off, frustrated, negative or grumpy. Now do you see why you needed to reflect for a few weeks to get over the denial period and to spend time for yourself?
3. Make a choice. If you were not happy with your last job, identify the reasons and avoid something similar.
4. Network. I looked at how I found my last 10 jobs as an executive: 7 were through people I knew; 2 from headhunters one through  cold calling – it was a revelation for me. As one my mentors Richard Eaton says. You can either Net -Work or Not –Work, it’s your choice.
5. Find a Mentor or Coach. Remember a Mentor is free and with a Coach, you need to pay. I have both. In either case your Mentor or Coach will tell you that you are not thinking straight and won’t care if they hurt your feelings…do you think that a football coach puts on white gloves during a game? Find either a Mentor or Coach. Tell them what happened and get ready to move on.

When you look back at this tough period in a few years, you will realize that this was a good time to reflect and spend time to invest in YOU.

Although your job was important (perhaps too important) as ever in life what really matters is your support group; the people that were cheering for you: Your spouse, your kids, your family and your friends in other words, your fans.

You can get a job anytime but keeping real fans like these is far more precious.

Put this in perspective as you embark to discover your next challenge.

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