I have accumulated many networking stories over the years, but this one remains very special to me. It is a story about the power of a network, certainly, but it is also about generosity, humility, human connection—and an extraordinary woman named Simone.

And, as you will discover, it ends with a piece of advice about life that I will never forget.

Can a networking connection get your book published?

When I wrote my first book, A Networking Book, I knew the odds of finding a traditional publisher were not exactly in my favor. I wasn’t a famous author. I wasn’t Barack Obama. I didn’t have a literary agent. And almost every writer I spoke to told me essentially the same thing: getting a first book accepted by a publisher was extremely difficult.

Fine. I decided to self-publish—and loved the experience. I also quickly discovered something else: for most authors, writing a book is not a shortcut to becoming rich.

But I found another reward that was far more meaningful. Whenever I give someone one of my books, I ask a few questions about them before writing a personal dedication. That little moment still gives me enormous pleasure. I often describe my book as a very large business card. But it is more than that. If something I have written gives another person the confidence to reach out, meet someone new, ask for help or create an opportunity, then the book has done its job.

Years ago, a publisher told me: “Paul, anybody can write a book. Writing a good book is much more difficult.”

That sentence stayed with me. Because how does an author really know? We can believe in what we’ve written. We can be proud of it. Friends can tell us they enjoyed it. But was it good enough?

That question came back when I wrote my next book, Demigods, Aliens and Ordinary People. This time, I felt I had become a better writer and storyteller. I liked the concept, the archetypes, the stories and the lessons I had drawn from years of coaching executives. Once again, I self-published.

And once again, somewhere in the back of my mind was the question: Could this book ever be traditionally published?

Then one day another voice entered my head. My own.

Paul, you’re the networking guy. You know a few people. Why don’t you practise what you preach?

So I did.

WDYK? Who Do You Know?

I called my friend Bogdan, an advertising executive, and asked one of my favorite networking questions: “WDYK—Who Do You Know?” More specifically: Who do you know who might know a publisher?

Bogdan paused. “Let me call you back.”

About an hour later, my phone rang. “Send your manuscript to a lady called Simone.”

What? Send my entire manuscript—my intellectual property—to a complete stranger?

Bogdan laughed. “Paul. Don’t worry.”

So, I sent it. Simone replied almost immediately and told me she needed a few days. Two days later—not two weeks, not two months—she wrote back and instructed me to send my introduction and manuscript to the Publisher at Curtea Veche Publishing, one of Romania’s best-known publishing houses.

I sent it. The Publisher acknowledged receipt and told me I would hear back in approximately a week.

And one week later, the message arrived: Curtea Veche wanted to publish my book in Romanian.

WHAT?!

I read the email again. And probably again. My heart stopped for a second. I had to pinch myself. The guy who had accepted that publishers weren’t interested in him was about to become a traditionally published author. Even today, when I tell this story, I can feel the emotion returning.

Networking Lesson #1: Ask the simplest networking question in the world—Who Do You Know?

I didn’t know Simone. Bogdan did. I didn’t know the publisher. Simone did. Three people. Two introductions. One extraordinary outcome.

That is how networks work. What happened next taught me something far more important.

Who was Simone?

Afterwards, Bogdan began telling me about the woman who had helped me. I discovered that “the lady called Simone”, and she was 92 years old at the time.

But her age was perhaps the least remarkable thing about her.

Simone came from an old and distinguished Romanian boyar family from Oltenia, with roots reaching deep into Romania’s aristocratic history. The boyars were the landed nobility and influential political class of the historic Romanian principalities.

Her own life was equally extraordinary. Born in Bucharest and educated in law, she left communist Romania for the United States in the 1960s. She built a distinguished international career, including many years at the United Nations, where she headed its Legal Library. She later became Director of the Library of the United States Court of International Trade.

But she never forgot Romania. After the fall of communism, she worked tirelessly in support of Romanian democracy and eventually returned to Bucharest to serve, pro bono, as a personal adviser to Romanian President Emil Constantinescu. She was an author herself, including several books published by Curtea Veche.

This was the woman who had read the manuscript of someone she had never met and then put her own name and reputation behind an introduction.

I needed to meet her. I needed to say thank you.

Lunch with Simone and Rudy

Bogdan arranged lunch. Simone arrived with her husband, Rudy, who was 94. I listened to their stories and found myself increasingly humbled by the two people sitting across from me.

Towards the end of lunch, Bogdan gave me a discreet little wink—the universal signal for, Paul, I think Simone is ready to go.

I moved beside her and presented her with a signed copy of my book. I wanted to tell her what her gesture had meant to me. I told her I felt honored: honored to meet her, honored that she had recommended me to Curtea Veche and, most of all, honored that I could now consider her a new friend.

Then I tried to say: “Thank you, Simone.” I couldn’t quite do it…

My voice caught. I paused. She noticed.

This remarkable woman looked directly into my eyes and hugged me. A beautiful, warm hug.

For a few seconds, there was no author, no publisher, no networking expert, no distinguished Romanian notable. There were simply two human beings. One had helped another, and the other was trying, rather unsuccessfully, to tell her how much it meant.

Networking Lesson #2: The greatest networkers don’t keep score.

Here was a woman who had achieved more than most people could fit into several lifetimes. She needed absolutely nothing from me. Yet she opened a door.

Why? Because she could. That is paying it forward in its purest form. And the story wasn’t finished.

“I’m inviting you to a party.”

As we were leaving lunch, Simone casually announced: “I’m inviting you to a party in three days.”Wow. “Maria and I would be delighted!” Of course, I had absolutely no idea what kind of party Simone had in mind.

Networking Lesson #3: When someone opens a door, walk through it.

If you’re invited somewhere new, go. Every event contains a different cohort of people. Over the years I have attended events with executives, entrepreneurs, artists, students, influencers, diplomats, Chambers of Commerce, Rotary members and countless others. Every room is different. Every room can teach you something. And every room contains people you would probably never meet if you stayed inside your comfortable little circle.

Three days later, Maria and I arrived at Simone and Rudy’s home. What happened next still makes me smile. Simone grabbed my hand and began introducing me to her guests. “This is Paul. He’s an author. He’s an executive coach. He’s a friend of Romania…”

And off we went – poets, writers, professors, artists, Romanian personalities and notables—people whose paths I would probably never otherwise have crossed. I kept thinking: How did I get here?

But what struck me wasn’t their status. It was the warmth. Maria and I weren’t being treated like outsiders who had somehow slipped into an exclusive gathering. We were being welcomed. There is a very big difference.

At one point Simone asked, “Did I give you any of my books?”. I said “no”. She disappeared and a few moments later returned carrying three of them—all personally dedicated. I felt like a kid in a candy store.

Meanwhile, at 92, Simone never stopped moving. Checking that everyone had food. Checking glasses. Bringing people together. Introducing guests. Making conversation. Making people comfortable. Making people feel important.

She was the quintessential host, and I remember thinking: Where does this woman get her energy?

Then came Rudy.

After dessert, Rudy slowly made his way across the room with his cane and sat beside us. We started talking. He told us stories about his life with Simone. I complimented him on how remarkably well he looked and asked about his health, their travel and their extraordinary social life.

He listened. Then he looked at me.

“Paul…do you know the secret to longevity?”

Naturally, I started searching for the clever answer.

“Good health?” Rudy considered it. “Hmmm…”

“Exercise?” Another pause.

“Proper diet?” “Perhaps.”

I was running out of ideas. “Good genes?”

Rudy smiled.

Then he gave me an answer I have never forgotten:

“Being surrounded by people.”

I stopped. Here was Rudy, at 95 years young, telling the networking guy that one of the secrets of a long and fulfilling life was something I had spent years encouraging people to do: Surround yourself with people.

I immediately asked, “Rudy, may I quote you?” He agreed. And I have been quoting him ever since.

Networking Lesson #4: Never stop surrounding yourself with people.

Networking isn’t merely about careers. It isn’t about collecting business cards. It isn’t even primarily about business.

At its deepest level, networking is about human connection. People give us energy. People challenge us. People comfort us. People teach us. People introduce us to worlds we didn’t know existed. And occasionally, people change the direction of our lives.

My final lesson: Look for heroes

I will always cherish that afternoon. Not because of the beautiful home, the distinguished guests or even because Simone helped get my book published.

I cherish it because of how Simone and Rudy made us feel: included, acknowledged, welcome, important—almost like family. That, I realized, may be one of the most powerful forms of generosity there is:

Treat people as though “they are the most important people in the world”.

Simone did that naturally. She was a connector before I ever met her. She was generous with her relationships, her reputation, her home and—most precious of all—her attention. And she expected nothing in return.

There is one final networking lesson I take from this story: Look for heroes.

Throughout our lives we meet certain people who become reference points. They show us what grace looks like. What generosity looks like. What curiosity looks like. What staying engaged with life looks like. They become our compass. Our North Star. Our role models.

Simone and Rudy became two of mine.

I originally thought this was a story about networking my way to a publisher. It wasn’t. It was a story about what a network can become when people use their relationships not simply to advance themselves, but to lift someone else.

Bogdan opened a door. Simone opened another. And Rudy left me with a sentence I hope I never forget: “Being surrounded by people.”

I am deeply grateful that, through one simple question—Who Do You Know? —I had the privilege of becoming one of those people.

And that is one of the many gifts Romania has given me.